I shouldn't even be writing this.
My thoughts are not in any kind of sensible order yet.
I feel like I'm holding my breath,
tiptoeing around,
where everything looks exactly the same,
but I just know deep down that nothing is.
Aiden is still my Aiden, my baby boy, my ball of energy, my sunshine.
I guess it's all going to be in retrospect.
If he IS Aiden with..autism..then he might have always been.
There are just too many questions to list, so I'm not even going to try.
I'll just say that this place feels so strangely calm.
How bizarre to feel relief at the thought of having a word for him.
A platform to dive off of.
Not that the word even really matters,
it just feels almost close to 'good'.....like someone from out there just reached in and distracted us for enough of a moment to be able to look at it all from the other side for the first time.
