Tuesday, August 4, 2009
Friday, May 8, 2009
Lachrymose at the library.
I'm not even going to go through all of what happened... I'll just post my letter to the Supervisor of Library Services for Seminole County... *sigh
To Whom it May Concern,
I left the East Branch Library in Oviedo fighting back tears today.
My mother and I took my three children to the library to check out some books for school. The children, including Aiden, sat quietly in the children’s section reading and playing with blocks for abut 30 minutes while I researched and gathered the books we needed. As I was getting ready to check the books out, Aiden came galloping over to me, with the other two in toe. I let them know that we do not run in a library and that we were checking out and to go stand by ‘grand-ma’ until check-out was complete.
Aiden’s autism causes various social, emotional, and behavioral issues, not the least of which is that he has little concept of appropriate times to be quiet or why in the world we would be expected to NOT run somewhere, that combined with that he has a literal adult size strength to him makes for a very physically difficult task when it comes to quickly removing him from a situation where he is disrupting others peace or quiet.
Sadly and obviously at the library today, Aiden had hit his “nice quiet time” saturation point and went running, while loudly making noises down an aisle. I told the woman checking me out that my son has autism and he is about to have a meltdown, she said we owed 20 cents, I walked over to my mother and got 20 cents. My mother went to try to coax Aiden into peacefully leaving the library, I went to deposit the 20 cents and retrieve the books. The older two children, who know this routine, went to wait in the library lobby. My mother and I ended up in front of the reference desk, each of us holding one of Aiden’s arms and trying to calm him while at the same time trying to move toward the door.
There were two employees at the reference desk, a man with glasses, and a middle-ages woman with brownish hair. (sorry I can’t be more descriptive, I was paying attention to Aiden)
The woman at the reference desk turned to the man and said something to the extent of “hmm, this is not a children’s playground”, as if I had somehow mistaken the library for a place where I should go to let my special needs child have free reign. It was just so hurtful to know that in this day and age an employee of a county facility like this would not be able to think beyond the behavioral into the realm of that there may be something wrong here. Where did giving your fellow man the benefit of the doubt go? Of COURSE we do not want to disrupt the peacefulness of the library and OF COURSE we feel awful about having done so, but to so passive aggressively belittle us was just uncalled for. This woman only experienced one moment of Aiden’s life and felt the need to make a harsh judgment, one that she felt strongly enough about that she felt a comment should be said out loud. Imagine OUR lives, we live with this disability every day. I just ask for your staff to be more compassionate. I am truly sorry if my son and his diagnosis interrupted the routine for 10 minutes or so, but in the long run, accommodating and tolerating a child like this should be acceptable.
Thank you for taking the time to read this. I truly hope that in the future Aiden will be welcomed in the library, I believe that he deserves the same opportunity to use this great public service as the rest of the population has.
Sincerely,
Mary Brophy
To Whom it May Concern,
I left the East Branch Library in Oviedo fighting back tears today.
My mother and I took my three children to the library to check out some books for school. The children, including Aiden, sat quietly in the children’s section reading and playing with blocks for abut 30 minutes while I researched and gathered the books we needed. As I was getting ready to check the books out, Aiden came galloping over to me, with the other two in toe. I let them know that we do not run in a library and that we were checking out and to go stand by ‘grand-ma’ until check-out was complete.
Aiden’s autism causes various social, emotional, and behavioral issues, not the least of which is that he has little concept of appropriate times to be quiet or why in the world we would be expected to NOT run somewhere, that combined with that he has a literal adult size strength to him makes for a very physically difficult task when it comes to quickly removing him from a situation where he is disrupting others peace or quiet.
Sadly and obviously at the library today, Aiden had hit his “nice quiet time” saturation point and went running, while loudly making noises down an aisle. I told the woman checking me out that my son has autism and he is about to have a meltdown, she said we owed 20 cents, I walked over to my mother and got 20 cents. My mother went to try to coax Aiden into peacefully leaving the library, I went to deposit the 20 cents and retrieve the books. The older two children, who know this routine, went to wait in the library lobby. My mother and I ended up in front of the reference desk, each of us holding one of Aiden’s arms and trying to calm him while at the same time trying to move toward the door.
There were two employees at the reference desk, a man with glasses, and a middle-ages woman with brownish hair. (sorry I can’t be more descriptive, I was paying attention to Aiden)
The woman at the reference desk turned to the man and said something to the extent of “hmm, this is not a children’s playground”, as if I had somehow mistaken the library for a place where I should go to let my special needs child have free reign. It was just so hurtful to know that in this day and age an employee of a county facility like this would not be able to think beyond the behavioral into the realm of that there may be something wrong here. Where did giving your fellow man the benefit of the doubt go? Of COURSE we do not want to disrupt the peacefulness of the library and OF COURSE we feel awful about having done so, but to so passive aggressively belittle us was just uncalled for. This woman only experienced one moment of Aiden’s life and felt the need to make a harsh judgment, one that she felt strongly enough about that she felt a comment should be said out loud. Imagine OUR lives, we live with this disability every day. I just ask for your staff to be more compassionate. I am truly sorry if my son and his diagnosis interrupted the routine for 10 minutes or so, but in the long run, accommodating and tolerating a child like this should be acceptable.
Thank you for taking the time to read this. I truly hope that in the future Aiden will be welcomed in the library, I believe that he deserves the same opportunity to use this great public service as the rest of the population has.
Sincerely,
Mary Brophy
Monday, May 4, 2009
Don't run in the gallery...
Well- My wonderful little God-daughter Taylor got manhandled in an art gallery today. The woman working there didn't like that Taylor ran from Theresa and was jogging back and forth so she took it upon herself to completely disregard that Taylor's parent was right there and take control of the situation herself! Apparently the women put her hands on Taylor and sort of moved/dragged her back toward Theresa. Knowing Taylor I am SURE she did not enjoy a stranger grabbing or directing her. It just boggles my mind that this woman would not have just said to Theresa "I'm sorry, I'd rather not have her running in the store please".. I mean- THAT would have horrified Theresa enough, but to bypass the parent and go touch a child you have never met before!!?? Very honestly Theresa COULD have filed a report. I JUST saw a news story the other day where a mom filed a report against a man at the park for touching her sons elbow! The point is... who knows what a strangers motives are? MAYBE you are trying to protect your paintings, but MAYBE you are a bad person and you want to touch my child!? I would think that we should ALWAYS err on the side of caution here and NOT touch anyone else's child without permission in situations like these.
The ONLY reason I would want a stranger touching ANY of my children would be in a life or death dangerous situation, then of course, but in a situation where you, the stranger, just think a child needs better or different discipline, absolutely not. Stay away. You talk to ME, the parent, never the child, and NEVER touching.
UG.
The ONLY reason I would want a stranger touching ANY of my children would be in a life or death dangerous situation, then of course, but in a situation where you, the stranger, just think a child needs better or different discipline, absolutely not. Stay away. You talk to ME, the parent, never the child, and NEVER touching.
UG.
Sunday, May 3, 2009
Flood the world with hope!
Went to church this morning, afterward there was a courtyard breakfast to introduce people to the Children's Ministry, then straight to the mall for a quick lunch, spanakopita, yummmm, then to Dale's house to help her unclog a sink, then home to wait for Calli to come get Jonny to hang out today, then to the Altamonte Mall with Taylor Wissner, Skye, Nicole, and Jo. Shopped for Mother's Day. It's much harder than you would think. I debated for 20 minutes on whether or not to buy my sister-in-law Leslee a bracelet for mothers day that was made from these strange looking colored stones- supposedly protective "eyes"... I figure it can't hurt to have all the protection you can get... in the end I decided the stones looked too much like weird little eyeballs and didn't take them home....I decided to pray for her instead... and I mean I really prayed... I asked God as passionately as I ever have to keep her safe and keep her belly warm and ready... to guide the doctors hands and to steady her world for just long enough for a baby to settle in... then I got some little gifts for my mom and Nicole and headed home.
Saturday.... In the park....
Saturday was crazy.
Free comic book day with Papa for the kids, which led straight into the Cubscouts Family Fest, which led straight into a park day, which ended up being TWO different parks in a row, which led straight into a date night for Brian and I with grandma watching the kiddos, which landed me in the theater seeing WOLVERINE! Whew!
PLUS-Skye had her friend Taylor spend the night, my favorite little friend of hers!
Free comic book day with Papa for the kids, which led straight into the Cubscouts Family Fest, which led straight into a park day, which ended up being TWO different parks in a row, which led straight into a date night for Brian and I with grandma watching the kiddos, which landed me in the theater seeing WOLVERINE! Whew!
PLUS-Skye had her friend Taylor spend the night, my favorite little friend of hers!
Friday, May 1, 2009
Funny Aiden
"Mommy.... your legs are so spiiicy!" (after rubbing his hand up and down my leg!)
"Mommy- My run is out...." (*panting* after running at the park)
10 minutes later
"Hey Mommy! My run is back, my run is back!!"
"Mommy, I wub you and I wub to wick wolwipops and drink wemonade!" (practicing our L's instead of W's!!)
.
.
"Mommy- My run is out...." (*panting* after running at the park)
10 minutes later
"Hey Mommy! My run is back, my run is back!!"
"Mommy, I wub you and I wub to wick wolwipops and drink wemonade!" (practicing our L's instead of W's!!)
.
.
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